Sarah Palin, media cocktease that she is, won't tell anyone (at least anyone outside of her snow mobile circle) one way or another if she's going to make a run at the presidency in 2012... she just keeps teasing it out as if it were her hair, and we're all downstairs in her living room waiting to take her out for pizza and roller skating on a Friday night in 1984.
In essence, with her [something-something historically blasphemous-and-incorrect and un-ironically-themed] "tour" she's spending gobs of cash (tour bus tour across the continental US, in the summertime, with gas prices at $4/gal) to see if it's worth her spending gobs of cash to run for president.
Sounds like perfect economic judgement to me, let's just hand her the nation's checkbook right now and save ourselves the wait for the inevitable breadlines....
I don't mean to jump on a hater's bandwagon, and I'm sure the majority of people who read this blog are fairly left leaning, so I'm preaching to the choir, but if you have any doubt in your mind, let me reaffirm it:
You know the story of Alice in Wonderland, right? Remember the Queen of Hearts, the central antagonist? If elected to the presidency, that's the sort of world we would be living in with Palin in the White House: a world of confusion, anarchy and tea parties.
Sarah Palin is a brand; a sensationalistic attention-whore who is all packaging and zero substance. She's the McDonald's across the plaza from the Whole Foods, the $4 cereal with the cartoon character on the front of the box next to the same goddamn cereal in the plain box going for half the price. I'm sure she would look great giving State of the Union addresses in a tight t shirt and spandex yoga pants while doing calf raises with her back to everyone, but that's it. That's all she is: push-up bras, make-up and cue cards, nothing else.
She's essentially a living, breathing Facebook page.
Sarah Palin is a house built of playing cards... she looks pretty and might impress a few people who don't know any better, but she will crumble at the slightest provocation - need I find the clip of Katie Couric asking her such hardball questions like "what newspapers do you like to read?"?
Tiny Fey's send-up of Palin on SNL is a far better choice to elect as president than the real Sarah Palin.
So, when the day inevitably comes and it's a surprise to absolutely no one that she decides to run for president in 2012, please just keep some of what I'm saying in mind:
We had eight years of ineptitude in the White House, do you want, for a second, to go back to that?
Do you want your father tuning in to the nightly news only to store up his mental "spank bank" for later?
Do you want to elect someone to the Office of the President of the United States who has no real grasp or concept of both US History OR NY-style pizza?
If you've answered "no" to any of these questions, then please, for the love of god, stop paying Sarah "Look at Me, America!" Palin any attention.
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