We've all been there: Driving someplace, not really paying attention, or maybe paying attention, because we're running late and hot-footing it to where we were supposed to be ten minutes ago. That's when we glance in our rear view mirror, or we see him coming over the near ridge in the road. The unmistakable light bar on a Crown Vic or Dodge Charger baring down on you. Your skin suddenly covers itself in a sheen of cold sweat, your asshole clenches, your heart jumps to your throat. You suddenly glance at your speedometer and realize you're doing nearly 20mph over the speed limit. Is he going to pull you over or let you pass?
First things first, the easiest advice to give someone on how NOT to get pulled over by the police for speeding is to tell you to drive the posted speed limit. Knowing that virtually no one does this, allow me to give you some practical advice based on my years as a law enforcement professional in a small town in Maine.
How Not to Get Pulled Over in the First Place:
If you're on a highway, try to stay with packs of cars going roughly the same speed limit. Strength in numbers. A cop would have to be a real dick (not saying they don't exist, but...) to single you out when there are at least five other cars around you, all driving over the limit.
It's when you're alone and out in the open that a cop will bag you for speeding. If you happen to break away from the group, check your speed and proceed with caution until you can find more cover.
Most cops will have a predetermined "limit" on what they'll pull you over for, as far as speed is concerned. Mine was 10 and over whatever the posted speed limit was. For instance, if you were cruising along at 35-36 mph in a 25mph zone, you could expect me to turn on you. Anything under that, I usually let slide. But all cops are different, so it could vary. But rest assured that no cop will pull you over for anything under 5mph over the limit. He would have to be a real asshole to do that.
Along with that, radar guns in police cars have tolerances that are supposedly checked before the start of each shift. But even then, there's a 1-2mph difference, just purely based on the fact that it's an electrical machine.
With that in mind, if you do get pulled over and the ticket says you were doing "55 in a 54" take it to traffic court. Likely the judge will let you off with a stern warning, because the cop who issued that ticket is a dickhead, and the judge will know it.
What to do When You're Pulled Over:
So let's say you didn't heed my earlier advice and you now find yourself on the side of the road, flashing blue lights behind you, feeling the gawking stares as every motorist driving by is silently thanking you for taking this cop off the road. How can you weasel your way out of a 100-200 dollar ticket?As soon as you're safely pulled over and in park, shut off the car. This will kill your radio too. Nothing is more irritating than getting a ticket to a soundtrack. If it's nighttime, turn on your dome light. Do not start reaching for your registration, insurance or license.
For some reason, people think that if they have all their documents ready for when the cop walks up to the window, they'll look favorably on this. False! If I'm sitting behind you in my cruiser and I see you moving around and reaching around for stuff, I could think you're trying to hide something, or worse, going for your gun. Just sit there, and place your hands on your steering wheel, palms facing out so that the officer knows you're not hiding anything in your palms, like a razor or needle.
Why does it take the cop so long to approach your vehicle? It's because he's running your plates to make sure he's not pulling over a car that was stolen from the vicinity of a violent bank robbery, or that to ensure the registered owner (likely, you) doesn't have outstanding warrants for his or her arrest. He also might be pre-loading paperwork. But keep in mind, he's still got his eye on you.
When the officer approaches, be polite. I can't tell you how many warnings for speed turned into tickets because the guy driving instantly became a total asshole towards me, based off of his own assumptions. Try not to be nervous, tho we understand if you are, and don't make any sudden movements. If the officer asks to see the required paperwork, in a friendly way, tell him you're going to get it from the glovebox or where ever you keep it. Move in slow, deliberate movements.
If the cop asks one of those stupid questions like "do you know why I pulled you over" you can answer in a variety of ways, but don't outright lie. Cops are people who get lied to every day, and you feigning ignorance is what he's expecting.
Instead, deflect the question. Don't admit to speeding, because that's an admission of guilt, but say something along the lines of "Yeah, my wife/husband called and she said there's something wrong with the water heater at the house," or "I'm not entirely familiar with this area, was I above the speed limit?" That last one can be problematic, especially if the officer holding your license sees you live on the same street he now has you pulled over on.
You can always try humor too. My rule was, if the driver can get me to smile or laugh, he wasn't getting a ticket. You could try "Jeez, I was speeding a little huh? I get pretty fired up when I listen to my all-Coldplay mix on my way to work..."
Never say you're running late for something, weren't paying attention, or are "really tired, and just wanted to get home" as these are all signs of reckless behavior. Who's fault is it that you're running late for work? Who's not paying attention? Who should've been to bed sooner?
Cops have another kind of unspoken rule: "the ticket or the lecture, but never both." If the cop starts in on lecturing you about safety, etc, just let him talk, the longer he talks the less likely he'll want to continue with the stop to give you paperwork. If he just takes your papers and walks away, be cool, it could go one of two ways, and you have a 50/50 chance of still getting just a warning.
I had a woman jump out of her car during the middle of a stop as I was writing out a written warning, demanding to see my radar equipment. After calling for a backup unit and getting her back into her SUV, that warning became a $220 dollar ticket and nearly an arrest for disorderly conduct.
In the end, if you wind up with a ticket, just take the paperwork from the officer and follow the instructions on the back of the ticket. If you have any questions, legitimate questions, feel free to ask, but don't expect the cop to stick around very long to have a Q&A session with you on the side of the road. Face facts, you got busted.
Preventive Measures:
I'll be honest with you, I can't fucking stand radar detectors. These expensive pieces of equipment, although usually legal, will get you into more trouble than get you out. In my experience, if I pulled someone over who had a radar detector in his vehicle, it gave me carte blance to pretty much make the guy's life a nightmare. Radar detectors do not prevent tail lights from going out, of signal directionals for you if you forget.
Some companies will "pay your ticket for you" if you get pulled over for speeding while using their radar detector, but this is somewhat of a false promise. You have to be within certain criteria to apply for this "pay back" from the company, and the company can change it's terms whenever it feels like it and not notify you. Also, as technology advances, not all radar detectors detect the same radio frequencies used by law enforcement radar guns. And then there's radio interference.
Not to mention that most of those detectors require a "line of sight" with the cop's radar gun in order to pick up the frequency... and by then, it's too late. If the radar detector detects the radar from the cop.. the cop's already got your speed.
So that $200 fancy little box sticking to your windshield... it might give you some piece of mind, but.... it's up to you, is what I'm saying.
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